Waiting

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Square One

The circumstances that brought us together this past week were heartbreaking, but spending time with my family was incredibly healing.  There were moments when the sadness was overwhelming and times when laughter, silly stories and tears eased the pain.   

Happy Brithday to Me

I'm 36 today.

In Honor of Papa

Papa loved poems.  Each year on his birthday, we celebrated with a poem competition.  Surrounded by family in the living room, he proudly read each poem for all competitors to appreciate.  As a kid, I had no idea how precious these memories would be.  Of course in Papa eyes, we were all poetry champions.   

Sad Night

Papa's in heaven.  He died in Nanny's arms.

Decision Time

To make sure my hormone levels and follicles are in check before I start the shots, I went to the clinic to get an ultrasound and my blood drawn.  While at the office, I explained to the nurse what was going on with my grandfather.

Phone Call

I got a phone call from my mom today. The doctors at the rehab center aren't sure how much longer Papa has.

Learning to Give Myself Shots

This morning Hilari and I went to the fertility clinic. The nurse taught me how to give myself hormone shots and handed me a box of full of meds shipped directly from the pharmacy (pic on the right). A bonus about filming this documentary - if I can't remember the instructions given, I can always go back and watch the tapes.

We made our way back to the nurse's office and she closed the door. I was relieved to see just the three of us together in that tiny room. I've heard horror stories of single women finding themselves in a classroom full of couples (participating in IVF), feeling alienated for attending the instruction without a "partner". I was happy to realize this wasn't the case for me today.

Fertility Meds - Paid in Full

I paid for my fertility meds today. The total was $2,300. Yes, I know; it’s a lot of money. 

$800 Challenge

I would love to say that I calmly and rationally came up with a solution to my recent $800 financial challenge. Let’s not kid ourselves; I was completely freaking out. Exhausted from a roller coaster of emotions, I took some time to meditate and center myself. I found a solution. I wouldn’t normally ask, but this egg freezing is really important to me. I gathered my courage, swallowed my pride, called my mother and asked if I could borrow the money. Let’s just say I have a hard time asking people for help so it was not an easy thing for me to do. Good news; she said yes! Problem solved; meltdown over. Whenever I’m in the middle of a crisis I can’t possibly imagine how it’s going to turn out positive. When I’m on the other side, holding the solution, it’s so easy for me to say, “Yeah, I knew it would work out.” Thanks Mom!