Stephaine Stark's Egg Freezing for Every Women

I was given the opportunity to read an advanced copy of Stephanie Stark's book Egg Freezing for Every Woman. If you're contemplating egg freezing, this book is a great place to start your research.  It's clear, concise and very informative. The facts are laid out in an organized and orderly fashion, which is awesome because the egg freezing process can feel overwhelming in the beginning. Who am I kidding? The process is an emotional roller coaster throughout.

Back to the book; here are a few of my favorite parts:

In chapter three, Finding the Best Clinic, Stephanie provides a list of 12 questions you can ask the doctor when "interviewing" fertility centers.  I would say about half of the answers can be found on  a clinic's website so you can have those answers before you even go to the appointment. The remaining will depend on your age and health factors, which you can discuss with the doctor directly. Of the 12 questions, I think these two are most important to remember when choosing a clinic:

1. Has your clinic achieved live births from egg freezing from women my age?  If so, how many? 
2. Based on my age and health, how many rounds of egg freezing do I need to go through?

Dear China

If you haven't heard, there are some people that have serious beef with China and their egg freezing policies. And yes, I'm one of them.  

Why?  You ask?

It all started this summer when Xu Jinglei, actor and director, unapologetically shared that she froze her eggs in the United States. Unfortunately, this was not well received in China for two reasons:  her age and marital status.  She's 41 and single.

China's Ministry of Health has set some new boundaries for egg freezing:  "Chinese couples interested in using assisted reproductive technology must present their marriage certificate, identity cards and birth permits and prove that at least one partner is suffering from fertility difficulties if they want to use the technology."

Wait a minute.  It's my understanding that single Chinese women don't receive birth permits and for obvious reasons don't have marriage certificates.  Is the Ministry of Health saying that unmarried women are not allowed to go through the egg freezing process?

Hello?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Teenager Smeenager

Yep, this is me (and my hair)
when I was 17.

I remember myself as a teenager.  I was shy, incredibly unsure, afraid of almost everything and possessed the magical ability to blush instantaneously if a cute, teenage boy looked in my direction.  I had no idea who I was, never mind, who I wanted to be.  I was all over the place.  Who am I kidding?  I'm 39 and some days I still feel like I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in this life.

You know the one thing I've never doubted?  That I wanted to be a mother.

A friend sent me a link to an article about a transgender teen who chose to freeze her eggs before transitioning into a man.  After reading about Cole and watching the video, my first thought was, "Wow.  That's one brave kid."  I admire that at 18 years old, Cole knows who he is and who he wants to be.

Check out Cole's story and let me know what you think.

Sarah Elizabeth Richards' Motherhood, Rescheduled

Since I began my egg freezing journey, I've been mildly obsessed with hearing stories of other women who've frozen their eggs.  I'm specifically interested in hearing the reason(s) these women chose egg freezing, how they felt sharing their decision with friends and family AND of course, how they coped with tons of hormones coursing through their veins.   

Reading Sarah Elizabeth Richards' book, Motherhood Rescheduled:  The New Frontier of Egg Freezing and the Women Who Tried It, was like hitting the Adventures in Egg Freezing jackpot!  I devoured the stories of the four clock tickers - Sarah, Monica, Kelly and Hannah in three days.  I mourned, celebrated and was moved by each personal tale.  And yes, I might have cried a few times too.   

It also reinforced a few things for me: 

Chill in Grazia Magazine!

I'm excited to share that Chill was part of the article Egg Freezing?  Some Consider it a Sexual Revolution in the September 12th issue of Grazia, an Italian fashion magazine!

The original article (pic below) was in Italian, but with a little help from a friend, it's been translated to English.  Enjoy and let me know what you think! 

As someone who calls it the "second sexual revolution", disruptive as the first, triggered by birth control pills, others see it as "insurance for fertility", a "strategy to stop aging ".  We are talking about oocyte cryopreservation, a technique developed from medicine to postpone the possibility of becoming mothers.  Let's step back. Until now, in a woman's life, there were studies, the frantic search the "right job", career.  The engaged couple arrived, disappeared. Motherhood was a distant goal.  And the years passed. When it was decided to have a family, the children did not come. Why, yet not everyone knows that, with advancing

Is it Time to Freeze Your Eggs?

I came across a a great blogpost by Jeannette Francis about becoming and adult (or postponing it for as long as humanly possible), motherhood and egg freezing.  It includes a great 5 minute video clip of fellow egg-freezer Sophie Ashton discussing her decision to freeze her eggs.

Here are a few interesting excerpts from the article:

Eff Cancer

I met Alice Crisci at the Fertility Planit Show in Los Angeles this past January. She was a speaker on the egg-freezing panel. The moment she finished sharing her story, I knew there was no way I could leave that place without meeting her.

She was vulnerable, full of life, enthusiastically talking with her hands, and had one of the most infectious laughs I’ve ever heard. I was inspired by her journey and in complete awe of her strength.

At 31, Alice was diagnosed with breast cancer. Let me repeat that – At 31, Alice was diagnosed with breast cancer. Talk about a game changer. When I think of cancer I don’t exactly envision someone in their early thirties having it.

After learning chemotherapy treatments could cause infertility, Alice decided to freeze eggs and embryos. She wanted to give herself the best possible chance to become a mother after she survived cancer. If she survived cancer.

Can We "Have It All"?

Being single and in my mid-thirties, I am quite familiar with the steady stream of comments regarding my lack of marriage and children.  Honestly, I know I'm not the only woman half way to 40 plagued by this, but sometimes it feels that way. 

These days more women are postponing motherhood or buying themselves time by opting to freeze their eggs.  Check out the article, Egg Freezing: De-Thaw To "Have It All"; it discusses two woman, Sabrina and Deborah, and their reasons for freezing their eggs. 

Now what?

Now that my eggs are frozen, there's a follow up question people love to ask: "So when are you gonna use them?"

During my initial research, I came across a great website that discusses everything egg freezing.   I was pleasantly surprised that Eggsurance provided so much information in one place.  The best part?  A handful of "Women Like Me" who had already completed their journey, including Eggsurance founder, Brigitte. 

Laura's Aha! Moment

Check out the last article from Laura Naaman's egg freezing journey, What's Oprah Got To Do With It?  My favorite excerpt is from the last paragraph:

"...I have a really good life. God, or whoever (let’s be honest God is probably Oprah anyway) has taken care of me. If I’m meant to have kids, I’ll have them. If I’m not, I still have a lot of other amazing stuff. Hilarious friends, a fun job, parents who—despite what the butt doctor says—truly DON’T give a crap if I give them grandkids or not. In the meantime, I will sleep until noon on the weekends, and do my very best not to make myself miserable trying to avoid some vague possible future regret."

Laura, thanks so much for allowing us to come along with you on your journey!

Me and Kim Kardashian

I never thought I’d be saying this, but it seems that Kim Kardashian and I have something in common.  And no, it’s not a sex tape… She’s freezing her eggs!  

In the season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim starts hormone shots to begin her egg freezing journey.  She says, “I decided to get my eggs frozen so that when the time is right I am prepared in case something happens.”   

At 31, Kim is at a pinnacle place in her fertility.  Like the rest of us egg-freezers, she’s making a proactive choice to extend her fertility. Good luck in your journey Kim!

To read more about her story, click here.

Laura's Moment of Truth

Check out part six of Laura Naaman's egg freezing journey.   My favorite quotes from the piece:

• "Um…the whole point of this is to NOT FEEL PRESSURED TO MEET A MAN, not to feel MORE pressure to meet a man so I don’t have to spend another $10,000."
• "It occurs to me that I may have been played by the whole Fertility Industrial Complex. First I’m panicked about my fertility, then I am offered a possible solution. But the solution only kinda works, and would work better with more time and money and needles. And even then, it still might not work." 

Should I Freeze My Eggs?

Heather is a 33 year woman getting married in five weeks.  Of course, since she's on the path to matrimony, there's a new question people are looking for her to answer.  Here are a few interesting quotes from her article:

• "It comes as no surprise that our peers should ask us when we intend to start a family.  Isn't that the next natural step?  First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes...?"
• "Without getting all women's lib on you, men are incredibly fortunate when it comes to procreation.  Aside from avoiding the obvious nine-month pregnancy and giving birth bit, men can procreate well beyond obtaining their senior status, making their sense of urgency less dire."
• "Starting a family at 35 or older does raise fertility concerns, so wouldn't it be a viable option to freeze your family-to-be until you were mentally or financially prepared?" 

To check out the full article, click here. 

Women Like Me

During my own egg freezing journey, I've been searching for other women sharing their stories.   A couple weeks ago I came across a series of articles by Lara Naaman.  They are awesome! I've laughed out loud numerous times, felt her frustration and asked myself some of the same questions. Lara is authentic, comical and freaked out as much as I was, which makes me feel a paculiar sense of camaraderie.  Plus, she loves cake (and ice cream) as much as I do.

My favorite quote from her last article is "I shouldn’t make any decisions while my ovaries are the size of parade floats and my hormones are horribly imbalanced." 

Click here to check out the series.

Egg Retrieval - Part One

The nurse asks that we arrive an hour before my 10:00 am procedure.  My friend and today’s designated driver, Mandi, agrees to pick me up at 8:30 am.  On our way to the clinic, I envy the purple plastic travel cup resting next to her seat.  My medical instructions from the day before: no eating or drinking after midnight.   I’m beginning to feel the effects.  Of course because it’s forbidden, I now fully appreciate my freedom of consuming beverages.

A Private Decision

 In my egg freezing quest, a particular phrase keeps reappearing - “It’s a private decision.”  In general, I agree, but for some reason the word private nags at me.  Maybe it’s because as a kid I remember my friend’s mom say, “That’s our private family business, she doesn’t need to know.” 

As my thoughts simmer, I realize that I associate private with silent.  When I concentrate on silent, it leads me to the word fear.  My brain continues to process and I decipher the difference between the two words.  Private allows me to be selective with what and who I choose to share information.  Silent prevents me from discussing out of fear.

Thoughts on Fertility

During my research, I’ve noticed something - Most women who make the decision to freeze their eggs, decide after the age of 35 or when their fertility has already diminished significantly. In other words, fertility is not a subject women really talk about until they realize they are losing it. When I look back, I realize I've never really thought about my fertility as a whole. I've thought about babies and family, but for some reason I never considered having those things could/would be in possible jeopardy. I always felt like I had time. How do we get women to talk about fertility before its decline?