Monday, May 7, 2012

Square One

The circumstances that brought us together this past week were heartbreaking, but spending time with my family was incredibly healing.  There were moments when the sadness was overwhelming and times when laughter, silly stories and tears eased the pain.   

With the hopes that I could start my hormone shots, I made an appointment at the fertility clinic for the day after I got back from Virginia.  My visit involved the usual - ultrasound and blood work.  The results:  my follicle count has decreased.  Verdict:  I can't start the shots.  I have to wait 4 weeks (or at least until after my next period).  This process seems to be taking forever!  I made the decision to freeze my eggs in October.  It's April and now, I have to wait Four.  MORE.  Weeks.  The whole purpose of this decision was because the longer I wait, the more my fertility decreases! 

In the last year, I can't even count how many times I've been forced to press the reset button in my life.  I feel like the queen of starting over.  The only choice I have is to wait...wait for my body to reset.  Wait and begin at square one...again.

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