Friday, May 17, 2013

Jagged Little Pill

A few days ago, I read a blog post from Red Pill Theory that made me want to vomit.  It was titled Is Egg Freezing the Next Birth Control?  It wasn't the title that turned my stomach, but the words spewed by the author.  

The blogger shared his feelings about egg freezing and women, specifically Sarah Elizabeth Richards, author of Motherhood Rescheduled:  The New Frontier of Egg Freezing and the Women Who Tried It.  Here's what he said that made me wanna puke:  "There's something powerfully strange about a modern career women:  their inability to admit failure.  Everything they do is part of their path to self-empowerment.  Sarah Richards had to use her life savings on a fairly dicey new technology because she couldn't get a man.  That's my definition of failure, especially when you consider 90% of white women manage to get married."

There are so many things I find distasteful in this little tirade that I hardly know where to begin. 

First, the use of the word failure to define single women is absurd.  Why are women "without a man" considered failures?  Can someone please explain this to me?

Women can be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, a NASCAR driver, an astronaut and the first woman to walk on the moon or anything else really amazing, but if she doesn't have a man well, forget it, she's deficient?  Give me a freakin' break! 

For some ridiculous reason, people goad the belief that single woman are somehow less.  It's untrue and people that perpetuate this nonsense really piss me off.  

Second, dude, did you ever stop and think that marriage isn't the only goal on a woman's list?  There's an entire world to experience for crying out loud.  If you haven't noticed, marriage has a 50% failure rate.  If you don't mind, we'd like to take the time to choose a supportive partner that respects the path we've chosen, brings out the best in us and allows us to do the same for them. 

This next quote made me wish I had a punching bag:  "It's not empowering to force everyone else to support your lifestyle choices, but like I said before, women can back-rationalize just about anything as empowering if it serves their needs."   

Sara's personal decision to freeze her eggs doesn't force "everyone else to support her lifestyle choices."   I'm pretty sure those eggs chillin' in the freezer don't affect anyone else's day to day life one bit.  Oh, and just so we're clear--No one is asking for your approval, permission or assistance.  She had the courage to share a piece of her life experience, encourage and inform others; I think that deserves some admiration. 

I am tired of people shaming women because they are unmarried, don't have children and/or are career driven.

Ladies, you are not defective, less worthy of love or respect because you are single.  You are not inadequate because you choose not to have children, can't have children or just don't have them yet.  You are worthy as you are, right now.  And don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. 

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