I've decided to wait until next month to do the egg freezing so I can visit Papa, my 84 year old grandfather. He's in a rehab center because his health is deteriorating rapidly. He’s reached the final stages of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Nanny has been by his side since the day he checked in and every day before.
Thoughts of family and children hit like a tsunami whenever I go back to Virginia...my grandparents have been married for 64 years...by the time Nanny was my age, she had ten kids...they've added more than 50 people to this planet. In addition to the ten children, there are 31 grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren. Just thinking about those things makes me feel like I'm behind. I'm 35, I don't have any kids! What if I don’t get the chance to have a family?
As I stepped in Papa's room, I took a deep breath and thought of the reason for my visit. I want him know how much I love him; I want to thank him for being such an amazing part of my life. I came to say goodbye.
This weekend I am reminded of the power, strength and awesomeness of family. I'm grateful that Papa knows he's not alone; he's literally surrounded by people who love and honor him. As I exited the rehab center's automatic double doors, I knew it was the last time I would see his smile.